Sam, you are turning 1 this week and I'm an emotional mess.
Ever since you started walking a month ago, I've seen a new awareness in you that can only be categorized as impending toddlerhood. You prefer to walk now and will often get upset if you're in the Ergo or in the highchair for too long. When I bend down to pick you up, you arch your back and turn to jello. You're very sure about what you want to eat (apple spears, not pear) and when you want to eat it, and you will let me know when you're ready for your water. You love to shake your head "no" - I often wonder when you will learn to nod your head "yes"! Diaper and clothing changes have turned into WWE wrestling matches. Your eyes light up when you recognize something you like. You look at different objects more inquisitively than you ever have before. You're more emotional now and will cry when I drop you off at daycare and you will look around fearfully when you see a stranger enter the room - but, when you're out in public, you love strangers and will laugh and smile at them openly. I love that about you and it reminds me to smile more too. You give me the best open-mouth drooly kisses. I can't really cuddle with you anymore, you prefer to wrestle with your dad.
On a daily level, I love this newness. I laugh because I think you're the funniest person in the world; I smile because I think you're the cutest, even when you cry. But when I stop to think about these changes, I feel a tug at my heart because I know your baby-ness is getting away from me. Many moms before me and after me have and will wax poetic about motherhood and children growing up too fast - I know I'm not the first nor the last. But dang... it really is going by too fast...
Welcome, my little toddler.
I still can't believe it's 2014.
Last night, I looked up at my husband and said to him, "This June, we will be married 3 years. Which means we've been together for 12." He looked at me sort of stunned at first, then his face softened into a grin and said, "So, how's it been?"
Well 2013 has definitely been the year of all years for me. The year I started my journey into motherhood and will never look back.
Sam will be 1 in a couple of weeks, completing one revolution around the sun. He's walking now, teeter tottering from room to room, like a gingerbread man. He often holds both arms up or will clutch one of his favorite toys for balance. He makes all sorts of sounds now - I know he's trying to articulate something but I'm still not sure what, though I often guess. He definitely knows how to say "Dada" and he knows who Dada is.
This morning during breakfast I watched as Sam waddled from room to room. He had two of his favorite wood blocks with him, one in each little dimpled fist. He was yapping away about something as he moved, with purpose, from living room to dining room to kitchen and back again - my husband patiently steering around him as he made us a much needed pot of coffee. Sam was trying to corral the dogs together but only succeeded in sending them scurrying away to every corner of our house to get away from his clumsy stomping feet and grabbing hands. Somewhat defeated, he would head back to the kitchen and wedge his big head between my husband's knees (oh, he's still so little!), only to waddle back to the living room, once again in search of ... the dogs? His toys? His next adventure!
These are the mornings I want to remember. The fleeting rituals of our daily lives. Our little son is growing up right before our eyes. And I still can't believe that he even exists at all.
{via the atlantic}
